Lets talk about fear and anger

Fear and anger can be destructive forces in our lives. They can prevent us from fulfilling our potential and damage our relationships with others. Unless we gain an understanding of how these forces work against us they will continue to have a negative impact on our lives.

Fear can be one of the most destructive emotions we feel. It can reach out and paralyse us if we do not find a way to deal with it.  Things we are fearful over are often attached to past experiences or the influences of others; we have taken on board as our own.

For example, my mother told me horrific tales of the dentist visits she had and of others. As I consequence I never went to the dentist as a child much and I took on that fear into adulthood. We may be afraid of falling in love as we have had a bad experience in the past.

What about anger? This can take many forms we can hold it inside us or project it outwards. Whichever one we choose it will cause damage. If we hold our anger inside and push it down it will fester and fester. We may develop some physical symptoms like a cancer, ulcer or end up with depression etc. if we project our anger outwards this may affect our relationships with our friends, family, partners. We may in extreme circumstances end up in jail or really physically hurt someone.

Everyone at some point in their lives will face anger and fear; it is after all part of life. How could we ever experience courage if we never pushed ourselves past the fear? Likewise, we all get angry we may read something in the paper that angers us, or someone close to us may be suffering through no fault of their own.

So what do we do with these emotions how do we deal with them in the most positive way we can?

  • Our first step must always be to acknowledge the presence of these emotions.
  • Secondly we need to see what we are angry or fearful about. We need to examine the situation with honesty and without judgement or bias.
  • Finally, we need to decide what we are going to do and think carefully about the outcome of our actions. If you do not like the possible outcome then don’t take the action.

Fear or anger held inside or projected outwards, causes far more problems than it solves. When we hold onto it we are living in the past and not the present and it will colour all our decisions. That person or situation that we are fearful or angry about still has power over us it has won and we have lost.

Some people have suffered terrible trauma in their lives and find it hard to get over these events. If this is the case then you need to seek assistance. To help you work through these issues. You may access counselling or some other form of treatment; the important thing to remember is that you don’t have to go through this alone. You will probably be surprised at the number of others that are struggling with the same issues as you are.

It is no kind of life for anyone, if you never trust the people around you; or if you feel constantly resentful and angry inside. Don’t let these things determine or affect the rest of your lives, take back the control of your life and start to live authentically. The first step to self-caring is self-love, so show yourself a little love today.



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